I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's blow job season.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize