thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize