do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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