I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize