I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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