You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize