So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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