at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
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Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
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Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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