Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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