real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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