Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize