What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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