he thought i was a dude.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
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No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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