My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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