it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize