i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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