I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
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i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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