Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize