Non-Jews are for practice
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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