Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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