So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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