i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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