It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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