The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Mom said you looked used
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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