Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You left your phone here
Wait...
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