So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize