i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
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P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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