its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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