I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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