I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize