i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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