i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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