why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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