just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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