My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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