should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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