i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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