My cat gives me a boner
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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