sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize