New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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