Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize