Yo dont text me then not text me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize