Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize