So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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