$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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