i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
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I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
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I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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