HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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