we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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