he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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