i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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